


Don't Call Me Baby Unless You Mean It (From Ed Sheeran's song)

by maia smith (maia_smith)



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-26
Updated: 2017-03-26
Packaged: 2018-10-11 02:56:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10453401
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maia_smith/pseuds/maia%20smith
Summary: Merlin comes in and out of Arthur’s life and he can’t take it anymore, so he leaves.





	

I don’t want to hear about your latest new man. One day I’ll grow to accept it.

I’ve known you since we were 8 years old and you fascinated me then and I wanted you to be my only friend, but there were just too many people who felt like me. When I was thirteen I stupidly tried to kiss you. You pushed me and ran away.

When we were sixteen we experimented with love and kisses. It was so much more for me than it clearly was to you. You never spoke of our encounter.

I turned 18 we graduated together but there was a space between us never to be mended. We went our separate ways

My heart broke every day and you had no clue so I decided to leave for my own good. Maybe one day I’d find someone who loves me as much as I love(d) you but I can’t bear to be in your presence any longer when I know I am nothing to you but a friend (and barely one at that).

Do you even remember my name?

Five years’ pass, I’ve had relationships, some good, some bad, I’m alone again; you’ve receded to the back of my mind. Work calls me home once again. My thoughts are not full of you, but you’re still there in the deepest part of my soul

Morgana decides to hold a welcome home party. You are there. Smiling broadly, you hug me and introduce me to your boyfriend, Mordred. I am shocked that you are gay, you gave no indication. I smile and say good to see you but my eyes say otherwise. Your smile fades as you regard my countenance. I feel bad that I can’t be happy for you.

I leave the party without saying goodbye.

I take a train to Cardiff, book myself in a dingy hotel then walk to the beach. I double over and cry my eyes out as I realize I still love you, can’t have you and can’t face the thought of seeing you even after all these years. My cold bare feet dig deep in the sand barely keeping me standing.

I return home and resign from the company. Morgana screeches at me to get over my shit. I tell her the company is hers as are all our friends including Merlin. Leon angrily confronts me but it’s all about his feelings for Morgana, not any specific concern for me. I ask him to take care of her. I have one last conversation with Morgana before I hand the company over to her. She calls me the biggest fool she’s ever known. I say, I love you too.

I open a small bed and breakfast in Cardiff, I’m comfortable in this small but bustling town by the sea. I make friends and start a casual relationship. It ends as I can’t commit but I’ve accepted my fate, that I’m meant to be alone.

Five years’ pass. I am ostensibly content albeit still single and alone at 28.

The Inn, formally known as Wizard’s Wayside Inn, is successful and nearly every night is a full house. I am at peace, lonely but my employees have become like family. I generally like being out in front rather than in the office which is where I stand when the unimaginable happens.

The front door bell rings catching my notice. I look over to Gwaine who doubles as bell captain of my small establishment. Gwaine struts forward and as his job requires, pulls the door open to allow our potential clientele in.

Standing in the threshold is Merlin. Alone, tall and lanky, scruffy with shining blue eyes and hands in pockets, a curious expression on his face.

I didn’t expect to ever see Merlin again; my heart goes crazy.

Gwaine immediately flirts with Merlin, ready to bed him if he is willing. Something flares inside me. He takes Merlin’s duffle and leads him over to the front desk where I stand, wondering how the hell to respond that doesn’t verge on inappropriate.

Merlin stands before me at the front desk, as beautiful as ever, I’m sure he’s with someone. All I can think to say is;

“Is it a single or a double, one night or more…” He stares at me incredulously.

“It’s a single, and I haven’t decided yet how many nights. It depends” Merlin holds my gaze, hands over his card. My hands shake as I process the transaction and hand him a receipt to sign.

“Room 202, one of our best.” I say wondering how I am able to keep speaking. I hand him the key, he smiles and turns towards the elevator. He pauses and turns back towards me.

“It’s good to see you again Arthur.” He smiles wistfully.

“Yes, same here” I say awkwardly. “It’s been years so many things have changed”

“Not as much as you might think” Merlin responds sadly, then turns away touching the button for his floor.

I feel the need to leave again, but I actually own this establishment so I can’t cut and run from my feelings again.

***

I awake early as the Inn is full. I need to make sure breakfast is prepared and the staff are available to ready rooms for the next night.

My heart is heavy, I pray I don’t encounter Merlin but fate is against me. His latest beau is at the desk checking in. Gilli is plastered all over Merlin who does not seem to mind, giggling at his overt passion. He catches my eye as I round the corner and he pushes Gilli off causing him to whine in complaint.

“Gwaine, can you finish the check in?” I ask knowing he’s already overloaded. I can’t stand seeing Merlin with his partner practically making love in the lobby. I left once before, I can do so again.

“I’m headed to Camelot to visit mum”

“Why so sudden?” Asks Gwaine, eyes on Merlin.

“You are up to managing things in my absence.” I smile at Gwaine, ignore Merlin’s astonished face and Gilli wrapped like a limpet around the love of my life.

I thought about it as I drove towards Camelot. Why did Merlin decide to show up at my Inn with his latest partner? It only caused me pain. Did Merlin know how I felt about him and was he just digging the dagger in further? I wasn’t about to stand around to find out.

My phone buzzed. Having stopped for lunch I checked the message;

Gwaine: _Gilli is Merlin’s ex and won’t leave him alone. He’s gone now. I had dinner with Merlin last night_ (I just about lost my lunch as I seethed with jealousy before reading further). _He came to get away from Gilli, Morgana told him about your place._

Arthur: _It doesn’t matter, he’s an old friend, make him welcome. I’ll be back in a week or so._ I made a note to talk to Morgana about interfering in my life.

Gwaine: _Don’t lie to me, he’s more than that._

Arthur: _It’s one sided_

Gwaine: _I don’t think so._

Arthur: _Please don’t play matchmaker, too much time has passed._

Gwaine: _Asshole!_

I shut my phone, utterly confused and feeling manipulated. How many partners has Merlin gone through? Is he really that fickle? Maybe I had lucked out by not getting together with him and then being cast aside. That would have been so much worse.

***

It was dark by the time I arrived at my mother Ygraine’s home. She’d divorced Uther years before no longer able to stand his verbal abuse; nothing was ever good enough for him. I felt the same wrath and was ever thankful I’d struck out on my own and founded my own successful company. I hadn’t talked to Uther since I came out as gay.

I knocked lightly and the door opened immediately. I was embraced immediately, engulfed by soft arms as she tugged me into the living room and pushed me into a leather side chair.

“Start talking” She said sharply as she sank down to the floor in front of me taking my hand. “I just got off the phone with Morgana, what is going on with you and Merlin?”

“Nothing is going on mother, absolutely nothing.” I sighed and hung my head so she wouldn’t see the sheen of tears that was forming in my eyes threatening to spill over but I couldn’t hide the quaver in my voice. I dug my fingers into the soft leather trying to get myself under control.

“You love that boy so much.” She stated the obvious; I nodded silently unable to meet her eyes.

“Morgana said he went to the Inn. Why are you here?” I shook my head, I didn’t have an answer.

“Oh, darling, can’t you see he cares about you too and you keep running away. Who are you trying to spare?” The dam broke then and tears spilled down my face splashing on my chinos. I continued to shake my head no, I couldn’t speak because I knew I would only sob. Her arms encircled me and pulled me down to the floor with her. I cried into her neck as she held me like a child.

I stayed for the weekend, we talked and I listened to my mother’s advice. “Go back” she said “Talk to him. You’ve done nothing to find out how he truly feels and it’s torturing you.”

I arrived late in the evening going straight to bed but sleep evaded me. I sat at the edge of my bed slightly panicked about the morrow. Could I face him? Why is he here?

I eventually curl up without drawing back the covers and drift off for a few hours despite the cool air whispering against my naked skin.

***

I awoke early and headed to the kitchen to make sure that breakfast preparation was going smoothly. Gwaine was up already as well spearing me with a hard look.

“You’ve deeply hurt Merlin, you do realize that.” He stated it as a fact, pacing around me with an appraising look.

“I honestly don’t know what he sees in you.” I can’t process what he’s saying.

“He leaving today.” “ _No, not yet_ ,” I thought. “I think he’s packing, but he said he’d stay until after breakfast, try and make one last attempt to talk to you. This may be your last chance, idiot!” Gwaine stalked off with one last backward sneer.

I took the stairs two at a time, agreeing this could be the last time I see him, I needed answers too.

Merlin was just exiting his room closing the door behind him. He looked so defeated.

“Why did you come here, Merlin?” I asked abruptly. He looked up surprised just noticing me.

“Why do you keep running away from me?” he asked back. Merlin looked pained leaning up against the paneled hallway outside his room, hands deep in his pockets. His head was bowed but he looked up at me through his lashes making my stomach flip. I had to look away.

“I didn’t think I was gay when we were young and the feelings I had for you scared me.” Merlin explained. “I couldn’t admit it to myself so I pushed you away, but I didn’t really want you to go away.” He sniffled then, wiping at his eyes. “Every time I saw you after that, which wasn’t often, you avoided me so I thought you really didn’t like me. When I showed up with Mordred at Morgana’s party it was my way of coming out to you. Mordred was nothing to me.”

I was shocked by Merlin’s admission. Was he saying that he loved me years before?

“I don’t know what to say Merlin. It’s been 12 years since we did anything, kissing, groping each other. I admit, I never got over you. I had lovers but never could keep a relationship going. All I could ever see was your face.”

“It was the same for me, Arthur. It’s only ever been you. My heart broke when you went away. I almost went after you but I wasn’t sure you wanted me.” I wanted him so much it hurt. Merlin’s blue eyes searched mine. He found what he was looking for and arched his brows smiling at me coyly.

Merlin reached out and linked his finger with one of mine and pulled me towards him. I went willingly feeling his arms encircle my waist. We hadn’t touched in so long, I was shaking. My mouth found his neck, he moaned softly. I drank in his scent. We had so much more experience sexually in the years since our, in retrospect, innocent fumbling. Could we make it work between us? I mouthed along his face until I found his lips. We kissed frantically, greedily needing to touch, refusing to let go.

Merlin pulled away panting, his eyes blown. He pulled the key out of his pocket and let us both into room 202. The door clicked behind me as Merlin pushed me against it, grinding against my hardening cock. We continued to kiss, teasing our tongues together, wet lips rubbing increasing our passion.

Merlin pushed my shirt up and off, I momentarily tangle one hand in the sleeve, impatiently tugging at it. Merlin sucks and nips at my nipples, teasing me to increased hardness. I stroked his dark head making all sorts of embarrassing noises. He drops to his knees and opens my zip pulling my trousers off. He mouths against my covered cock making quiet moans as he pulls at my boxers releasing by cock which springs up in his face.

He licks a stripe up my cock and sucks at the tip driving me wild. I pull him up all but naked with my trousers around my ankles, shoes still on and kiss the hell out of him. I palm his still covered cock rubbing and kneading it, until I feel him respond. He pulls his own shirt off and nearly rips his trousers off. His clothes are gone in record time, I sit to get my shoes off which seems like a herculean struggle. We are finally both naked and kiss our way over to the bed where I cover him with my body.

“Fuck me Arthur.” Merlin murmured in my ear as we moved together, feeling skin against skin our cocks leaking. I stroked myself to hardness nearly coming from excitement. Merlin splayed his legs open lifting his arms over his head, so, so ready for me. He kept his eyes on mine looking unbelievably sexy.

I spread his cheeks applying a generous amount of lube, pushing my fingers in to stretch him open, teasing his prostate, eliciting whines of pleasure from him. I slide on a condom and lube up with shaking hands. I line up my rock-hard cock and plunge into him in one stroke.

He gasped, I took his mouth kissing him deeply as I continued to thrust forcefully hoping I wasn’t hurting him. Merlin moaned my name grabbing my ass making my movements stronger in answer. I came explosively, my heart racing. I kissed his mouth greedily, pulling out moving down his sweaty body licking and kissing and leaving light bites as I went. His cock was red and leaking, I pushed his hand off and stroked it kissing the tip taking it into my mouth sucking and swallowing around it until he came. We lay together exhausted but exhilarated, I couldn’t suppress a giggle and we were both soon laughing recalling the days when we were teenagers.

I can’t remember ever being happier. We stared at each other unable to pull away from the gaze. I pushed his bangs off his forehead marveling at the thought that I could touch him so lovingly.

“Promise you won’t run from me again, baby” Merlin trailed his lips against my ear.

“Don’t call me baby unless you mean it.” I murmured. I was getting sleepy and pulled him close.

“Oh, baby, I so mean it.” Merlin kissed my chest, I smiled. He leaned up to kiss my mouth.

“I’m so in love with you.” He whispered. I stroked his back. My smile widened. I felt a catch in my throat and a tear descended. Merlin kissed it away.

“Just in case it wasn’t already obvious I’m in love with you too.” Merlin smiled and we both drifted off to sleep.

Tomorrow I will ask him to stay forever.

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you liked it!


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